This is 40.
I finally decided on my word for the year.
Although it may seem obvious to you, it wasn’t for me. At the start of the year I was a little down. This year is unlike any other. I began the year 7 months pregnant with our twin girls. There are not many projects on my plate this month and besides a little organizing, I don’t have much going on. This was extremely frustrating for me as I’m usually go, go, go. With a growing belly and a fast approaching due date this is not realistic.
I really had time to sit with my thoughts and it was tough. In the space that was created I had a realization. This will be the first year since I moved out on my own 20 years ago that life will not be about the hustle or the grind or what’s next. Over the past years I’ve worked hard. Holding down a full time job, a side hustle and a passion, sometimes more. Most days working 10 to 12 hours.
Everyone keeps saying how twins will be hard. (It is truly amazing how negative people can be around pregnancy, but that’s another post.) I don’t believe it. I’m sure there are days where I’ll be sleep deprived, dreading another diaper change, worried about the babies, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. This year I have one job. To be a MOTHER. A job I’ve been preparing for all my life.
Although I have this feeling of wanting to keep up or find the next project, I’m going to ignore that little voice in my head. When these babies come I’m going to be present and soak it all in. This is the first and only time we will have babies and I don’t want to miss a moment. The jobs, creativity, ideas are not going anywhere, they’ll be there waiting for me when I’m ready. In the meantime I’m going to fully lean into my 40th year as a MOTHER.
Normally I have a full day of self care for my birthday. With the babies coming and having to slow down a bit, this year is not the same. I’m still getting in all of the wonderful self care but spreading it out! Had a manicure with a girlfriend and massage earlier this week, haircut today, dinner with friends on the weekend, brunch with some more friends and Mark is taking me for ice cream! (Pregnancy cravings are real!)
Last year I said I wanted this 5 year cycle to be all about ME, that might change a bit once the babies comes. Who knows, maybe I will learn a lot through being a MOTHER that it will be about ME. I can’t wait to start this journey, (babies that’s not an invite, please stay in there for a few more weeks!) it is going to be magical.